Nothing transports you again to neon lights and shoulder pads just like the tunes of the Eighties, however a few of these songs make us cringe now greater than ever. These cringeworthy tracks dominated the charts as soon as, however at present, their tacky lyrics, overproduced sound, or tone-deaf content material really feel downright embarrassing. Whether or not you really liked them then or now, marvel how they ever appeared cool, listed here are 5 main ’80s hits that nonetheless have us cringing. Buckle up for a visit down reminiscence lane—to the land of questionable music selections.
1. “We Constructed This Metropolis” – Starship
“We Constructed This Metropolis” hit No. 1 in 1985, however at present’s listeners name it the worst music of all time. Its overly slick manufacturing and muddled lyrics—criticized as anti-corporate drivel wrapped in company sheen—simply don’t maintain up. Blender journal even topped it “essentially the most detested music in human historical past.” Regardless of its chart success, the music has turn into a punchline for every thing unsuitable with mid‑’80s pop. Nostalgic? Possibly. Cringe‑worthy? Completely.
2. “Agadoo” – Black Lace
This novelty hit from 1984 reached No. 2 within the UK, however was later dubbed “magnificently dreadful” in a Q journal ballot. Its repetitive, conga-party lyrics made “Agadoo” a sock-hop catastrophe—so embarrassing that even BBC Radio 1 refused to play it. But the band leaned into the mockery, constructing a cult following and even celebrating “Agadoo Day.” Certain, it’s catchy in a guilty-pleasure form of approach—however “cringeworthy” suits it completely.
3. “Sussudio” – Phil Collins
Phil Collins’ 1985 banger “Sussudio” should get toes tapping, however its fake-word refrain (“Sussudio!”) has lengthy been singled out as one of many ‘80s’ most cringe lyrics. Critics slammed it as “insipid” and “indefensibly silly.” Collins followers might name it a nostalgic disco-funk homage, however many listeners now cringe at its empty charisma. This juxtaposition—catchy beat with cringeworthy refrain—is why “Sussudio” nonetheless sparks eye-rolls at present.
4. “Kokomo” – The Seaside Boys
A shock hit in 1988, “Kokomo” marked a low level for The Seaside Boys. Critics blasted it as “smarmy classic pop” and dubbed it the “worst summer season music ever.” The accompanying music video, that includes bikinis and tacky Caribbean vibes, landed on NME’s record of worst-ever movies. Elegant nostalgia? Possibly. However to many, its extremely‑yuppie vibe and syrupy sound safe its standing as endlessly cringeworthy.
5. “The Woman in Crimson” – Chris de Burgh
Liked by romantics in 1986, “The Woman in Crimson” now conjures up groans greater than declarations of affection. It was voted among the many high ten most annoying songs ever in UK polls. Critics name it overly sentimental, cloying, and “not the very best music” even by its creator’s admission. Weddings and elevator playlists nonetheless push this saccharine ballad, nevertheless it racks up main cringe factors now.
Able to Reevaluate Your ’80s Playlist?
Earlier than you hit play, ask your self: nostalgia journey or cringe journey? Revisiting ‘80s jams might be enjoyable, however maintain a crucial ear for tacky lyrics, dated manufacturing, or countless repetition. Higher but, curate your personal “responsible pleasures” playlist—solely what you really get pleasure from, cringe included. That approach, you personal your nostalgia, not cringe at it.
Which ’80s music nonetheless makes you cringe at present—and do any of your guilty-pleasure tracks belong on this record? Share beneath!
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